i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
