Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
