i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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