at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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