he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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