ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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