There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
