ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Let's get the cat blown out
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