His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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