If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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