i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
