Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
