I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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