Tell her she can't have a vagina
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I love you. Go after that dick
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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