Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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