summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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