Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
