The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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