OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
