Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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