honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
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I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
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My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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