? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
