let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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