wrigley field is MILF paradise
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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