What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
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