When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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