Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
