How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
