we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
