what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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