What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
