i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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