never play flip cup with pint glasses
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just a social blackout drinker.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize