Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
