she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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