I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
