I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
