He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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