lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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