I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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