we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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