i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
