just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
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