It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Say something about gay babies.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
