Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
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I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
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If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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