I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Found the puke drawer
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
