He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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