and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
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Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
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Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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