Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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