I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
