I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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