I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
