you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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