wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
operation have a gay friend backfired
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
