help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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