she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
