i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
