I think i sorta joined a cult last night
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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