Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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