Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
