So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
