i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
