Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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