That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
