and you said cock pushups were impossible
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
