the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize