Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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